QUICK WINS
Small acts, big results, that you can implement today.
Ask her, “What do you need from me today?” Then actually do it.
Give those rapid thrusts a chill pill. Lay down in a comfortable position. And slow. it. down. Like slow-motion slow. Slowww. There you go. The internet raves about slow sex. “It could save a relationship.” Bold claim. Hyperboles aside, a little slow sex never hurt anything. [How does it work? Give this a slow scroll.]
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Dadada, dadada. That’s our best attempt at spelling the SportsCenter Top 10 stinger. Dadada, dadada. Our autocorrect keeps changing it to “Daddy.” And speaking of Daddies, that brings us to the top 10 sexual fantasies of the moment. What are they? And what do they say about humanity? [Can we get a golf clap for that transition? Please and thank you.]
Well, you’ve got your penises. Of course your vaginas. And, last we checked, that’s about it, anatomy-wise. Oh. Right. They meant the anatomy of the party-planning, not the guest list. That makes more sense. Venue, music, performers, drinks... who are we kidding? We have no idea how to host a sex party. [That’s why we’re reading this.]
Sometimes, we say we have a secret. But here’s the thing. We don’t. We just say it to lure the wife over, so we can give her a kiss, pinch her butt, and tell her she’s pretty. She rolls her eyes, calls it “not a secret,” and walks away pretending to be annoyed that she crossed the room for nothing. [Fake secrets and butt pinching. Two things that always work for us.]
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The positions she’ll never forget. Sexual Contrast: The new currency of female arousal. This literary erotica hit list. Why you need to talk about sex (and how to do so). The American gentleman. This dating difficulty index reveals the states where dating sucks the most. How different generations define flirting.
GENTLEMEN: LOVE. IN SLOW MOTION.
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